To My Melancholy Lover

After the goodbye: (Updated on May 7, 2011)

“Han is typing,” Google chat box told me, helpfully.

Somehow it liked a strategy game, a game of intimacy and distance, of ideal life and reality, of things we’ve experienced and the make believes. “Don’t you dare get hurt by this,” I muttered to myself. I knew too well the danger and helplessness of falling for someone more sophisticated and secular. They’d say they loved you, but they were always after something. I knew that from the start.

I just typed “Goodnight” to Han. Goodnight, goodbye and good luck.

Here I go again, making another resolution and trying to regain my confidence one more time.

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Everyone who is interesting has a past.

The Glass Castle

You raised your head so I could look into your eyes and kiss you…

Continue reading “To My Melancholy Lover”

2010与2011之间

纯粹,不牵扯爱情,像是特别投机的路人的温暖 — 在这个冷冰冰,时刻有灾难降临,需要不停息地去填满孤独感的世界里,在茫茫人海中,随便两个人,都有可能相聚在同一屋檐下。

他的常常为所欲为让我困惑。

他问我有没有遇到过某个人,然后觉得“和她就这样过一辈子就很美,”我说没有。他没有再说下去,我们都沉默。好像这是全世界最伤心的事。

有的时候,一些人会遇见另一些人,相聚的契机或者并不高尚,大家也是毫无共同点的两种人,却会擦出无比闪亮的火花。这种遇见,往往不会一生一世,但在那一霎那,也绚烂美丽。就像这样,我同一个自己都不能理解的灵魂擦肩而过。

后来,当他说“她们都想见到我,那你呢?你想见到我吗,Daniel?”的时候,也许我明明很想,却不想当他面承认而没有说话。

也许我已经明白他和我是不同方向的,各自有得有失的命运。

Dan, please dream on.

后记:

上个星期六晚上,我的iPod里突然响起了Radiohead的歌,很好听。我从不知道自己有Radiohead的歌,于是我想到他,也许是他推荐给我的,或是他随便说过,我便留心记下来的。听着Radiohead我便想到要把和他的故事记下来,于是有了这一篇。