I want to have my life for the unexpected

I find it’s hard to answer these questions,

「お国はどちらですか?」
「出身はどこですか?」

Which one should I choose? The place I was born, the place I had lived for most years of my life, the place of my current residence on the record, the place my parents are from and the place my parents currently living – are all different. Therefore I don’t know which one to choose.

I don’t know where I am from.

Neither do I know where I am going.

Sometimes people would ask me where I plan to stay after graduating from college. “Going back to China?” They would ask.

“No,” I’d reply, “I’m definitely not going back to China.”

I have lived in China for more than ten years – more than half of my entire life, and want no more of.

Then I left for the States.

Programming is logical, abstract, cool. I chose it because I love languages, and thought since I can learn natural languages, then it won’t be too hard for me to learn artificial ones. I am ready to study seriously again – programming, technology, and everything related. At the age of 18, coming to my senses as a human being at last, I am not done with learning. I know I am no longer ashamed of my ignorance, nor afraid of liking things.

Perhaps I should be impressed by the fact that I haven’t attached myself to things, that I am loose and free enough to walk away from anything at anytime. But what am I free for? I want to have my life for the unexpected.

Anyhow, I still take it for granted that not settling down is a necessary rebellion.

2 thoughts on “I want to have my life for the unexpected

  1. Louis Alberto

    Settling down is over rated, stay young and free for as long as you can. But there are a few things that are worth holding on to, regardless of how far you may roam..

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